This might sound crazy but I encounter many people who are so shy that even the idea of going to a singing lesson fills them with fear and anxiety. I’m not exactly sure what they think is going to happen in a singing lesson, but there you have it. So first off lets look at that. Ok, I am of the opinion that there is no such thing as ‘shyness’. And this is coming from someone who suffered from this supposed problem for decades. The thing is, I am no longer ‘ shy’. So, then, if it actually exists as a defining personal characteristic then it stands to reason that I have still have this tendency. Well, I do. The ONLY thing that’s really changed is that these days, I just don’t entertain that idea of myself. I’ve come to realise with age and experience that you really can talk yourself in or out of absolutely anything, shyness included and I base that opinion on some fairly solid facts. First off, if it wasn’t within my power to control it, then why am I controlling it? See what I mean? I would go as far as to say that as a child and teenager my shyness was crippling. Yet here I am CONFIDENTLY giving people private singing and guitar lessons and performing as a singer on a regular basis. So how does this all relate to my singing lessons? Well because I’ve had personal experience with overwhelming feelings of shyness I can really sympathise and therefore I can help my clients overcome their own perceived shyness. As I said at the beginning of this post, I am of the opinion that there is no such thing as ‘shyness’ and that’s my starting point with my clients. The actual DOING of singing lessons will go a long way in dealing with lack of confidence etc because you’re committing and following through on something that you find in some way frightening or intimidating. Now, this is quite different to all that unrealistic silly stuff about facing your fear of heights or facing your fear of enclosed spaces. You SHOULD be wary of these things! It makes perfect sense to be at least a little afraid of being trapped inside a small airless space or being up at a great height. These are inherently somewhat dangerous situations because there is a REAL and PHYSICAL risk involved. It’s normal and part of our common sense to be aware of danger in order to protect ourselves and our loved ones. Being afraid of going to a singing lesson is quite different however not only I do come across this quite a bit but I am also convinced that THE VAST MAJORITY of people are actually more afraid of singing in public than any of those other real and present dangers! And, this actually includes going to a singing lesson! I often have people booking and cancelling lessons because they’ve spent too much time worrying about it and thinking about it and working themselves up in a ‘tizz’ over it to the extent that they cancel the lesson. Often these people will contact me again and do the same thing again. I’ve come to recognise these ‘repeat offenders’! I have no idea what they think is going to happen in a singing lesson that’s so frightening and when I ask them, they can’t really answer because in reality, it’s all in their own minds. So, if it’s all in your mind then it stands to reason that you have some control over this. The ONLY way in this case to overcome this sort fear is to face it and just go ahead and do the lesson. Stop making such a big deal about it in your mind. It isn’t. Really, it’s quite a pleasurable experience at worse and a big learning one at best and usually, I’d like to think, both! So until we meet face to face here are a couple of tips and observations in regards to ‘shyness’.
Stop telling yourself you are shy. You’re simply talking yourself into something that has no basis whatsoever. It doesn’t exist. It’s ALL in your mind.
Stop announcing to all and sundry that you’re shy! You’re just cementing this non existent idea in other people’s minds and therefore reinforcing it in your OWN mind.
Get some acting and or singing lessons. A good teacher will really help you with all of this.